You are a great dog. You were my very first baby. I bought you on JP's birthday more than 8 years ago and gave you to him as a gift. I had always wanted a chocolate lab. You were chubby and adorable and such a ball of energy.
JP soon became your dad and over the years you have become more attached to him. I know the highlight of your day is when he gets home from work and you can sit on his lap and give him some puppy love. (Well, doggy love. You are no longer a puppy. You are 8 1/2 and weight 110 lbs now.)
I know that JP going away for deer camp is hard on you. I know that even though I give you extra love and attention and let you sleep on his side of the bed while he is gone you are still unhappy.
I get it.
You are not happy.
You don't need to bark at me for 20 minutes every hour, all night long, every night.
I understand. If it were up to me he would come home today.
He is not coming home today.
He will be home on Thursday.
I am sorry for that.
As for tonight. You need to settle down and let me get some sleep. I am honestly on the verge of making you sleep outside in the snow. You have never slept outside before. You don't like to get cold. You will not like sleeping out there. Please quit barking and just go to sleep! I will let you sleep on the bed. Just be quiet!
Thanks for cooperating.