Smile

I just found this on post secret it hit home for me. I will not let this be me!

Not that I had an unhappy childhood. It was far from unhappy. I had loving parents a little brother and a happy house filled with pets. As a child I felt like I wasn't supposed to show emotion. I wouldn't let myself yell or show excitement, I wouldn't laugh out loud or even cry often. I was a shy and quiet kid and didn't draw attention to myself.

I was once in a commercial for a local furniture store as a kid. My entire 6th grade was in it. We had to run behind "Grandma" and yell and cheer like we were cheering her on. I remember feeling really stupid and running at the back of the group so I would blend in but not cheering or waving my arms like everyone else.

This feeling has followed me through my life. This little enternal voice says don't sing out loud, don't show excitement, don't dance, don't laugh too loud, make sure you blend in, you don't want to stand out from the crowd, don't smile or cry. You will look stupid and maybe you will get noticed.

I am now at a point in my life where I am tired of listening to that little voice. I am tired of caring what other people think of me. I smile all the time. I laugh as much as possible.

I don't want Tink to grow up with that little voice nagging at her. I think I am doing ok so far with making sure she is happy being who she is. She has a constant smile, a song on her lips at all times and dances whenever and wherever she sees fit. I love this about her. Last week before dance class she refused to wear her pink leotard, she said too many of the other girls wore pink and she didn't want to look like everyone else, she just wanted to look like herself.

Tink has no problems with knowing how to smile. I have also found my smile.

Doggy update

Things are still interesting at our house.

Tink is still sick with her ears and has had a fever at some point every day for the past week. Last night we had to miss dance class because she had a fever. If this keeps up we are headed back to the doctor very soon. Although JP did have a virus week before last that caused him to have a fever every day for 10 days. I can't wait for warm weather so I can open my windows and air the house out. I just feel like the house is full of stale air and germs.

New dog, Bo, is doing a bit better. Did I mention his real name is Bocephus? Guess who the redneck is that named our dog that. Any guesses why I picked Tink's name and not daddy? Well, her real name isn't Tink as I'm sure you know. Daddy did give her the nickname Tink. I am totally off subject now.

Bo did really well last evening. He went outside often to go potty and ventured into the kitchen on the tile floor. We are trying to teach him his name and he is beginning to get it. He sits on command. If you have a treat and he knows you are talking to him. That's a start right?

I ventured out to the store for a few things and picked him up a more manly blue collar. The one from the shelter was pink and I thought maybe it was giving him a complex. He's still wearing the pink harness though, until I can locate our green one that Reese outgrew a few years back. Where did I put that?

The dogs are getting along pretty well now. They were both snuggled up against my legs for a bit this morning so I could love on them both. Reese has to have his share of attention when there is another dog around. I swear the little chub hasn't wanted a thing to do with me for a while now. In fact if I petted him he would get up and move so I couldn't reach him. Now a new dog is getting petted and Reese is all over me. Jealous brat. At least he's not mean about it.

Blushing Buttercream Pettiskirt GIVEAWAY!!!!

Blushing Buttercream Pettiskirt GIVEAWAY!!!!

This is a MUST have for any little girl!!! I am entering and praying I will win one of these for Tink to wear!

Oh yeah.

I think I may have adopted ANOTHER pet last night.

I had just climbed into bed last night when I heard a commotion on my back porch. I had just sat a bag of trash out there a little earlier and JP hadn't put it in the trash can yet. I was sure it was a raccoon or an opossum or god forbid the black bear that has been spotted again recently looking for a snack. I snuck into my laundry room and flipped on the porch light.

There was the cutest black cat eating a piece of stale bread it had ripped out of the bag. Poor thing! I got a bowl and put some dog food in it and opened the door a crack to put it on the porch. The cat ran, but I heard it jump onto the porch a few minutes later. The food was gone this morning.

We live in the country with few neighbors and I'm pretty sure it doesn't belong to anyone close by. Guess I should put cat food on my shopping list tonight.

Now I'm worried about the little thing sleeping out in the cold. Maybe JP can build it a little house and fill it with straw.

Yes, yes I have totally lost my mind. I am such a glutton for punishment. I just love animals and kids so much. Have a dog, cat, kid you don't want anymore or need a break from? Just drop them off on my road or give me a call. I will either see them and pick them up or they will find their way to my porch, either way I will take them in.

JP doesn't even complain anymore, he just shakes his head and goes along with it. He has tried to discourage me before. Don't stop the car, those are coyote pups not dogs. Those kittens will be fine, we will never catch them anyway. That cat has the mange, you can see it from here. This kid isn't ours, why do we have him every weekend while his parents party? That dog is rabid, don't feed it. If you catch that rabbit at your office don't expect me to build it a cage. He knows it doesn't matter, I take them all in and find them a home if need be.

What the HELL was I thinking!!!

I picked up the new pup yesterday morning. Things have been interesting.

I had to take Bo directly to the vet to be neutered. He refused to get into the car. The woman at the humane society had to pick him up and put him in my car. Bo doesn't like tile floors either. The vet tech and I had to slide him across the floor to the exam room. He survived the day without incident.

I picked him up after work to take him home. Bo was still groggy, he was sore, he has no idea who I am. He wouldn't get into the car AGAIN. I commanded then begged and pleaded for 20 minutes. I attempted to pick him up to put him into the car. He attempted to bite me. A vet tech came outside to help me. He attempted to bite her. We muzzled him and put him in the car anyway. We survived the ride home without incident.

I called hubbs. Hubbs is now banned from decision making for the next forever!! The two biggest decisions he has ever made on his own 1.) Which house to buy when we got married (I hated it from day one!) and 2.) which dog to adopt this past weekend have both sucked.

Hubbs met me in the front yard with our other lab. New dog, Bo, growled and tried to bite Reese. Hubbs smacked Bo in the head. Growling and biting stopped. Dogs get along fine for now.

Bo is afraid to walk up steps into house. Once you force him up first two steps he runs like a bat out of hell to get to the top and almost pulls you over if you are not paying attention.

Bo will not cross tile to get to hallway or go into kitchen. He currently just wanders around the living room when he is not in his crate. He has tried to "mark his territory" twice in my living room. If I am not starring at him constantly he must be in crate to avoid this.

Meds have worn off from yesterday and Bo is much happier and lively today. Bo is a jumper. He loves Tink. Bo tried to jump on Tink. He tried to pull her scarf off then tried catching her shoes when she was walking. When Tink bent over to pick something out of grass, Bo nudged her in the behind, she fell knees first into grass, getting muddy. Tink was not happy! She proceeded to tell him off and then stomped to the house to change pants. These two can NOT be left unsupervised! Tink is used to Reese who is very tolerant and gentle with her, I do not trust Bo yet.

Bo freaked out with snarling and barking when Reese sniffed his crate while he was eating. Food aggression, hmmm.

Bo is currently in his crate while Reese is sleeping on the couch, while everyone is at work.

Lets hope things start calming down. So far this is not a picnic.

Pay it forward

The first 3 people to leave a comment on this post will receive a handmade gift from me during this year. When and what will be only for me to know and you to find out!

There's a small catch though....Post this same thing on your blog and then come back and leave a comment telling me you're in.

Remember, only the first 3 comments receive the gift.

*Don't forget to post this on your blog first, then come back and leave a comment on this post!*

Meet Bo!!

Well, we did it. We adopted another dog. He's a three year old chocolate lab mix. He comes home with us tomorrow after he gets neutered. He's already cost us as much as it would have cost to buy a purebred lab. Now, let's just hope he and our 9 year old chocolate lab get along. Should be interesting around our house for a bit!!!

Owie!

Tink has an owie!

Tink had a fever earlier this week and I stayed home with her on Monday and Tuesday. My nephews had a bug last week that was a fever only and were told to just stay home. When Tink had no other symptoms I assumed she had gotten it from them and her fever soon broke and she was feeling fine.

We are short staffed this week and I have been left to run my office alone since I came back on Wednesday. In fact the boss was upset that I had taken off on Mon and Tues and he had to come in and actually work those two days.

Mamaw called me at work a bit ago. She had taken my oldest nephew to his speech class and while waiting with Tink and the other nephew in the waiting area Tink started complaining about her ear hurting. Within the hour they were there she got worse and was crying by the time they got to the car. Mamaw called to let me know and then dropped her off at my office so I could check her out.

When I saw her I knew she was sick. My baby never cries or complains. The poor little thing just sat on my lap and cried "Owie Mommy, owie" and held her ear. Luckily my boss had just stopped by the office and I told him he would need to stay for a bit I was taking my baby to the doctor.

Tink has a double middle ear infection with her right ear drum bulging due to the amount of fluid behind it. Her ear drum will possibly rupture from the pressure. She has already started her antibiotics and motrin for the pain. I'm hoping she will start getting better soon.

I don't know how a kid can get bad so quickly! She never even mentioned having an ear ache, she went to dance class last night and had a great time and was fine when I left her this morning.

Award time!!!

I just got my first award. It's from Becky at My Life As It Should Be. You can visit her at http://mommyfirefly.blogspot.com/

Becky is an old friend of mine. We met on the first day of junior high at the "prison on the hill" as it was so often called. Although we went to school together for 6 years and were friendly with each other we did not become real friends until we became blog friends. She is now a mother of two adorable, busy kids and living in a near by town. She works three jobs and still finds the time to be a baseball mom. I'm hoping we will eventually find the time to meet up in real life and catch up. I am so glad I have a second chance to be friends with Becky!

Along with my award I have to tell 10 honest things about myself. This is a bit harder than I thought it would be. So, here goes.

1. I have control issues. Hubbs calls this being bossy.

2. Sweet tea is my weakness, especially Chick-fil-a sweet tea.

3. I am trying not to be the picky eater I have always been. Just within the past two years I have started eating spinach, broccoli, chick peas, mushrooms, onions and venison.

4. I live by the rule that I will not say anything about another person that I would not say to that person's face.

5. I cracked Tink in the head with the Wii controller while bowling last night. Boy did I feel bad!!

6. My life revolves around Tink.

7. I wish I could be a stay at home mom.

8. I regret living at home and commuting to college and only getting my associates degree. I now wish I had experienced living on campus. I also regret not pursuing my teaching degree.

9. I am very soft spoken. I hardly ever raise my voice or get upset.

10. I try to see at least one good thing in every person.

I also got the friend award from Heidi at The Johnson Family Tales. You can find her at http://johnson5family.blogspot.com/

Heidi is a sweet lady from Georgia who I have had the pleasure of sharing emails with for a few months. She is a busy mom of three. I don't know how she finds the time to do keep up with these three busy kids, blog every day, post awesome recipes (check out her Mini Mama Mia's they are great!), travel and even submit an article for publication in a magazine all the while looking amazing and totally cracking me up. How does she do it??!! I have just loved getting to know Heidi and hearing all about her family.

These directions came along with this award:

"These blogs are exceedingly charming. These kind bloggers aim to find friends and be friends. They are not interested in self-aggrandizement. Our hope is that when the ribbons of these prizes are cut, even more friendships will be propagated. Please give more attention to these writers. Deliver this award to other bloggers who must choose to pass this on and include this cleverly- written text into the body of their award."

Like Heidi before me I have decided to change the rules a bit and have changed the words to fit what I am doing. Sorry if this offends anyone, you know, if you are the type who is a stickler for rules.

I am awarding the Honest Blog award to:

Heidi at The Johnson Family Tales

Michelle at One Crafty Mama http://michelle-onecraftymama.blogspot.com/. Michelle is another busy mama who's blog I love to read. She stays busy with two beautiful daughters, takes beautiful photos and lives in sunny CA.

and

Betty and Boo's mama at Betty and Boo Chronicles http://bettyboochronicles.blogspot.com/ Betty and Boo's mama works outside the home, loves to read and stays busy with twins. She always has something interesting to say, it may be a book review, menu idea, political view or something cute her kids did or said.

I am giving the friend award to:

Becky at My Life As It Should Be.

and

Amie at Undertoad, you can find her here http://toadslair.blogspot.com/ Amie is another old friend of mine, we also met on the first day of junior high. Amie, Becky and I were all in Mr. Conrad's homeroom that year. Amie is in CA teaching at a University and has just started her own greeting card line. Amie is a beautiful writer and always has something funny or unusual to blog about. I love Amie's sense of humor.

My Valentine

I know I'm a little late to post about Valentine's Day. Just know that my life has been crazy this week.

Valentine's Day was a big hit at our house this year. I awoke with Tink kissing my face and yelling it's VALENTINE'S DAY!! JP and I gave her MarioKart for the Wii. Which she loved! Helped Tink race against JP, we lost.

Tink, JP and my parents gave me cards.

I made Tink heart shaped pancakes for breakfast. In fact they were such a big hit I have had to make them two more times since. Totally easy too. Here's how.
1. Take Eggo mini pancakes out of freezer.
2. Put pancakes on plate.
3. Microwave for 35 seconds.
4. Smear with a bit of butter.
5. Push heart shaped cookie cutter into pancake.
6. Pull extra pieces of pancake off that are around edges and eat them yourself.
7. Serve with milk or juice.
Told ya! Totally easy!

Tink and I spent the day with my Mom, aka Mamaw. Bought card for JP. Yeah, I totally didn't buy his card until that day. I'm seriously not telling him though.

Stopped at pet store and bought Tink 3 new fish. We are now the proud owners of two blood red swordtails and an algae eater. Tink gave them all crazy names that I totally can't remember.

Went to dinner with JP and Tink at the Parkette. Totally regretted not ordering a hoagie when I saw JP's. They must have switched cooks again, because the food is back to it's usual wonderfulness (is that even a word?) Hot turkey sandwich was great though.

Visited with JP's family. MIL regifted an ugly Valentine's bear to Tink that god knows who had given her earlier in the day. Sweet!

It was a busy day. A great day spent with the people I love most!

Tink says she LOVES Valentine's Day!!!

Valentines plans

Yesterday after work JP went to Mamaw's to pick Tink up.
Tink to Mamaw: What do you do on Valentine's Day?
Mamaw: You give Valentines to people you love and sometimes you take them to dinner or buy them a gift.
Tink to JP: Who is going to take me to dinner?
JP: I will take you to dinner Tink.
Tink: What about Mommy?
JP: No, we can go all by ourselves.
Tink: That won't be nice, we need to take my mommy. I love her!
JP: Ok. I will take you and Mommy to dinner.
So, now I have plans for Valentine's Day. Dinner with my two favorite people!

We had already agreed that we weren't going to buy each other gifts for Valentine's Day. We were going to buy Tink a gift we can all use. Today I ran up to the mall on my lunch break to buy the gift. Mario Kart for the Wii, an extra controller and an extra steering wheel. I spent a small fortune!!

No fun in the dark.

Last night during dance class we were hit with a storm. Not just a little rain, this was a major wind storm (90mph in some places) with tons of rain and hail. It was a bit scary at one point. We left dance class to a darkened town. Most of the electricity in Clarksburg and Bridgeport was out for the night. At home we were also in the dark.

Tink, JP and I made the best of it. I lit candles and put them around the kitchen and living room and I helped Tink make Valentines for her grandparents. This kept her entertained for a while. When she got tired of playing in the semi darkness we went to bed early.

I laid in bed for what seemed like an eternity listening to the wind howl. I finally fell asleep only to be woken up many times throughout the night by the wind.

When we got up this morning our neighborhood was scattered with all sorts of things. The pillows from my patio furniture were all over the yard and our trash cans are heaven knows where. My parents heavy gas grill had blown across their deck and was hanging over the edge, their solid wood glider had moved across their front porch. Other neighbor's things like a tarp and practice target are now laying against my house.

I called work to let them know I couldn't come in, I had no hot water, heat or lights. I was told that was too bad, I had no choice but to come in. So, I sucked it up and came to work with unwashed hair and no shower. Some may call it greasy hair, I'm calling it the "camping" look. Yeah, whatever. I still feel nasty!

Our office had no electric either. We were running with no lights and a generator powering our phone system and a small space heater. Fun, fun, fun! Our electric at the office finally came back on around noon.

Let's just say I'm still not in a very good mood today. One nasty word from my jackass boss and I'm going to show him what other choice I have.

What an evening.

Wow! I don't know what got into Tink yesterday. She was one wild woman last night.

Never mind. I know exactly what the problem was.

She played with these guys, the Mafia Brothers, all day yesterday. Hubbs was home sick on Friday and Monday, so I left Tink at home with him and I was home with her all weekend. So she had a nice break from playing with them. She was such a sweet kid, she said please and thank you and yes maam and was always wanting to help.

After spending all day at Mamaw's with the Mafia she was just wild. She came home in a bad mood with a smart mouth and wouldn't do a darned thing I asked her to do. I can't handle that. After many threats she was sent to time out a bit later she was again smart mouthing us. This got the tv turned off for the rest of the evening. She cried like I was torturing her.

Today the Mafia Brothers are at home with their mom, they are both sick. Hopefully, Tink will be in a good mood when I get home. Tonight is dance class night, so we will be busy trying to get home, clothes changed, dinner eaten and back across town for class within an hour and a half of getting off work. Not an easy task. We live 20 minutes from my office and 25 minutes from dance class. We usually walk in the dance studio door as class is just about to start.

Tink loves dance class! I took these pics last week.

At the end of class we got the costumes that the girls will wear in their recital this June. They are just adorable. Now, if they can just learn their dance. Hubbs has gone to a couple of calsses with us. He claims it's like watching a room full of monkeys. They're really cute monkeys!!!

It's always a party.

Last night was my niece's 11'th birthday party. She's such a sweet girl. She's into the rocker stuff right now. I got her a couple of tops at RUE21. I got her the cutest black thermal top that had see through skulls all over it with a white tee to go over it that had a black and pink design that said Rocker and had skulls on it. Everyone at the party looked at me like I was nuts. It was her favorite gift. Yep, I'm the cool auntie who actually buys things that she likes.

This niece is Hubb's brother's daughter. Her party was at my MIL's house. Most of Hubb's family was there. His girl cousins can be a bit rude and snobby and of course my MIL is a real peach. The cousins are the type who always have perfect hair and clothes, their makeup has been professionally applied, they are a size 2, have new boobs and don't pay a bit of attention to their kids. Not really my type of girls. I'm more the world revolves around my kid, jeans and sweatshirt with running shoes, hair in a pony tail, give me mascara and lip balm and I'm set kinda girl. Thank god Hubb's brother and stepbrothers married nice girls that I just love. Jp's twin sister is a sweetie too. I have been truly blessed with 4 great SILs. Without my SILs I don't think I could handle family get togethers with Hubb's family.

______________

Night before last we went to my cousin's house for my Grandpa's 89'th birthday. Now there's another interesting bunch of people. I'm sure no one cares how dysfunctional my family is. Let's just say Grandpa hadn't had a shower in about 2 weeks and I wouldn't let him hug on Tink, I told him her cough was contagious and he shouldn't get too close. Then when he blew out the candles on the cake I wouldn't let Tink eat any of it. We had ice cream instead. Trust me, I have my reasons.

Okay, this post isn't making me look good is it? I'm looking like the snobby bitchy one now.

The big debate.

As of today we have not gotten a new pet.
Tink still wants one.
The more I think about it the less I want another pet. I will be the one doing all the work. Although Reese (our current dog) loves the hubbs more than anyone else I am still the person who does most of the taking care of him. Sure, hubbs feeds him once in a while and has bathed him twice in the last six months. But I am the one who feeds him most days, brushes him, clips his nails, takes him to the vet, scoops his poo from the yard and shares their side of the bed with the big mooch. I really don't need anyone else to care for, do I?? And if we did get another pet we would have to buy a bigger bed. With hubbs, myself and Reese in our bed there isn't much room for Tink when she makes her nightly trip through the house to join us at 3am.

New Addition?

We, and when I say we I really mean it's JP's idea, are considering a new pet at our house. Tink has been wanting a new pet and I have been putting it off. JP now thinks it's time for one.
Last night he asked Tink if she wanted a new cat or a dog. She got very quiet. When she looked up there were tears in her eyes. "I don't want to get rid of Reese! He's my brother and I love him!" (He's not actually her brother. He's our 9 year old Chocolate Labrador.)
We had to explain that we weren't getting rid of Reese, we were just going to get another pet to live with us and Reese. This made her much happier. "I want a new cat and a new dog. I will name the cat Doran and the dog Inside Outside!"
No. There will only be one new pet and we will not be naming the dog Inside Outside.
She finally decided on a dog. A little dog, like a mini chihuahua. Again, not gonna happen. JP wants another labrador. I love labs, but also like border collies and cocker spaniels. I think we should get a dog that has already been house broken. JP wants a baby puppy. I also think we should adopt a rescue dog instead of buying another full blooded dog from a breeder.
We will see. If we can all decide on a dog then we are set. As of now that's looking a little iffy.

Our Story - part 3

I called JP the next day. I needed to say I was sorry. I was very sorry for the person I had been.

He answered on the first ring. We hadn't even talked in almost 4 years, yet it seemed like we had never stopped being friends. He had just broken up with his girlfriend Melinda who he had dated for 3 years.

He asked me to go swimming at Audra park the next day. Like old times, I picked him up and off we went to the river.

We started dating. Most of his family is great to me.

August 1999 we went on vacation together to Ocean City, MD. JP pretty much moved in at my house when we got back.

Sept of 2000 he asked me to marry him. I said yes. End of Sept 2000, on JP's birthday, I bought Reese for him. For myself really. He didn't even like Labradors. I had ALWAYS wanted a chocolate lab.


June 2001 we bought our house in Stealey and began remodeling. Beginning of July 2001 we moved into our house amid the remodeling. Surely we could live there and have it totally remodeled in a year. Mid July we bought Noah, my sweet black Labrador.


Aug 4, 2001 we were married.

2003 We start trying to get preggo. I learn that JP's mom doesn't like me, never has. She hopes we never have kids, she doesn't want anymore grandchildren than she already has. (Nice lady!)

Oct 2004, I get preggo with Tink, but don't know it until Dec. I have a rough pregnancy and spend almost half of it on bed rest. MIL tells me constantly it will be ok if I miscarry.

July 17, 2005 I delivered Tink. I thought I had loved before. I had no idea what a mother's love was all about!

May of 2007, we bought JP's grandparents cabin at Audra Park. We now have a place to get away from all the craziness of our every day lives. MIL shows up EVERY time we spend the weekend there.

Sept of 2007 we purchased my grandparents house in the country, next door to my parents. The house in town is still not finished being remodeled. We are currently trying to sell the house in town.


February 5, 2008, I had to have my sweet Noah put to sleep. MIL can't imagine why I am so upset, he was just a dog. JP holds me while I cry myself to sleep many nights.


July 2008 we finally took our first family vacation which could also be called our honeymoon, since we never took one when we got married.


Feb 2009, Tink is now 3 1/2. JP and I have been married for 7 1/2 years. Reese is totally JP's dog, he only likes Tink and I because we feed him. MIL is still a pain, I love her despite her faults. (She did give birth to hubbs and he has been trying harder with Tink lately.)


JP and I are still in love and he's still my best friend. We both realize we drive each other crazy sometimes but that's ok. Neither of us are perfect. Except me of course. I really am perfect.

Our story - part 2

My senior year in high school, 1994-1995, I ended up talking to JP again. I honestly can not remember how or why we started talking again. He was the same sweet guy I remembered. And still lots of fun. Although we went to rival high schools he went to every football and basketball game my school had that year. We also went to every haunted house in the county together. He even took me to my senior homecoming.

I had my license then and drove when we went anywhere. His mom hated that. She forbid him to date me. He started telling her he was walking to a friends and would meet me at the top of the street.

I didn't feel right about lying to his mom. Besides there were older guys out there. College guys are way more exciting than freshmen when you are a senior in high school. Again I convinced myself that I could do better and left him to date a guy who had already been engaged once. We will call him "Jerk."

I dated Jerk all through college. I moved in with Jerk and was paying most of his bills while I was going to school.

Sept of 1997 Jerk and I went to the Italian Heritage Festival in my town. I felt someone staring at me. I turned around and there stood JP. He was with his girlfriend. We gave each other a weak smile and walked away from each other. My heart broke. I knew he was the one person I truely loved. I also knew I had no chance what so ever with him.

January of 1998 I got a phone call from a girl named Lisa. It seems Jerk's dad had told her about me and gave her my number. She had a new baby, he belonged to Jerk. He had been cheating on me with Lisa and two other girls, including his ex fiance, for quite some time.

Lisa and I met up and paid Jerk a little visit together. He was shocked to say the least. He swore he never wanted to see Lisa or his son again. He was so very sorry about what he had done to me. He loved me more than anything in this world and had made his choice, he wanted to marry me. I informed him, the choice was mine and I was leaving. Lisa and I drove off together as he screamed and threw a little fit. That was the most liberating moment in my life. What I wouldn't give to have a video of that meeting!

I moved back home and got my first real job. I was a book keeper for a motorcycle dealership. I went on a few dates, but none of the guys I knew were really worth the effort of serious dating.

In May 1998, my cousin Dawn and I volunteered to be bartenders at a fundraising event my parents helped organize. On the way home we had a serious conversation about regrets. My biggest regret was not realizing how great JP really was.

Our story - part 1

Since it is February, and with Valentine's Day and all, I thought I would share the story of Hubbs and I.



I met JP the spring of my 8th grade year. I was 14, almost 15, JP was 11. My older cousin, Dawn, had a baby then got married and moved to Charleston Ave, where JP lived.


Dawn's nephews by marriage, the 3 Fazzini boys, lived next door and my brother and I soon became good friends with them. There were tons of kids who lived on Charleston Ave. The Fazzini's introduced us to hubbs, his sister, brother and 2 step brothers, the Skinner girls and a few other kids that spring.


At dusk every evening as the street light came on all the neighborhood kids would meet at the corner in front of my cousin's house to play spot light. Spot light is basically hide and seek in the dark. The entire two block neighborhood was our playground. Our game would last until around 11 every night when JP's grandma would call the police because someone had run through her neighbor's yard and tripped the motion light and it was past curfew. When the police car drove up the street looking for us the game was over.



Hubbs ended up growing about a foot that summer and growing a mustache. He was not your ordinary almost 12 year old. Luckily he stayed the sweet funny guy who had become one of my best friends. He went almost everywhere with my brother and I that summer.


Late one evening, while playing spot light, all the kids decided we would go down to the abandoned church on the block and let ourselves in through a broken door to have a look around. It was an ancient church due to be demolished. It had beautiful mosaic tile work on the walls that was crumbling, holes in the floor of the sanctuary and was a bit spooky when lit only by flashlight. We were upstairs when the flashlight burned out. I was scared to death. All the girls screamed, I had a death grip on JP's hand. He seized the opportunity and kissed me. I knew then that I loved him.


I was 15, he was almost 12. I couldn't love him, he was a little kid. What was I thinking!?!


I would be a freshman in a couple of weeks, I swore to myself I didn't like JP. I set my sights on the oldest Fazzini boy (he was a senior and could drive) he would be the one for me. JP was crushed when he saw the two of us kiss one evening. I felt terrible. Things didn't work out with Fazzini and I, he ended up being a real jerk.